


It Ain't Me

by Cathrineoriginal



Category: British Actor RPF, Tom Hiddleston - Fandom
Genre: Actor Tom Hiddleston, Angst, Betrayal, Content, Drama, F/M, Fame, Feels, Friends to Lovers, Friendship, Humor, Internal Conflict, Jealous Tom Hiddleston, Jealousy, Lies, Lonliness, Love, Protective Tom Hiddleston, Romance, Stress, Swearing, Tom Hiddleston Is A Sweetheart, Young Tom Hiddleston, happiness, relations - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-09-05
Updated: 2017-09-09
Packaged: 2018-12-24 08:34:14
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,993
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12008991
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cathrineoriginal/pseuds/Cathrineoriginal
Summary: I had just turned 32, and I really thought that this would be my year. I had decided to show my true colors to the world, but at that time, my friend came to me, telling me all about the new girl he met. The all-American girl. The one everyone knew and loved. The one that made a living out of finding boys, to feed off them for her own career. Fiona Campbell. I just couldn’t stand her. I knew her from when I went to High School. A total bitch, always trying to make my life miserable. And now, so many years down the line, she still makes my life miserable. By taking Tom.My Tom.Thomas William Hiddleston. My best friend since I was only 17 years old. For 15 years I stood by his side, but no more.





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> Hi everybody! 
> 
> I hope you'll like this story. I've tried posting it before, but it never felt right to me. I've done some changes to the story, and hope that you'll give it a chance, and let me know what you think. 
> 
> The story is inspired by "It Ain't Me" Kygo & Selena Gomez.

** It Ain’t Me **

**_“No I don’t wanna know where you’ve been or where you’re going, but I know I won’t be home and you’ll be on your own.”_ **

_June 16 th, 2014_

 

 

 

> _"Hey,_
> 
> _You have reached Annie Gilbert. I regret to inform you that I cannot come to the phone right now, but leave your name and number and I will get back to you as soon as I can.”_
> 
> “You have 40 new messages.”
> 
> 1st message”
> 
> _“Bloody hell, Annie! Just answer your phone! We’re all going crazy here. Tom is freaking out! when he got back to the apartment, both you and your things were missing. Call me. It’s Ben.”_
> 
> _Message no. 2_
> 
> _“Annie, it’s me…” Message deleted._
> 
> _Message no. 3_
> 
> _“Sweetheart, it’s Luke. I don’t know what happened but please just call me back and tell me where you’re going.”_
> 
> _…_
> 
> _Message no. 15._
> 
> _“Princess, it’s Diana. I do not know what happened but I do think it has something to do with my son. You know that you can always call me, and you know where to find me. I’ll leave the door unlocked, Princess. I love you.”_
> 
> _Message no. 16._
> 
> _“Annie, I am so terribly sorry for whatever I did. You weren’t here when I got back from the party. Even though you said you weren’t going to be there. I hate that we had that argument. But you must see that I didn’t plan for this to happen. It just did. I don’t understand why this one is different than anyone else I’ve met. Why her? Why do you have a problem with her, and not the others. I need my tootsie. You’re my best friend, and I cannot imagine my life without you. Please, Annie. I need to know where you are._
> 
> _I love you, bye.”_
> 
> * * *
> 
>  

I fought the urge to cry and roll my eyes at the same time. I’ve been on the road for about 16 hours, and I’m exhausted. I left LA, after a disastrous birthday party.

My very own. I had just turned 32, and I really thought that this would be my year. I had decided to show my true colors to the world, but at that time, my friend came to me, telling me all about the new girl he met. The all-American girl. The one everyone knew and loved. The one that made a living out of finding boys, to feed off them for her own career. Fiona Campbell. I just couldn’t stand her. I knew her from when I went to High School. A total bitch, always trying to make my life miserable. And now, so many years down the line, she still makes my life miserable. By taking Tom.

My Tom.

Thomas William Hiddleston. My best friend since I was only 17 years old. I met him at Cambridge, after skipping a grade and moving to England, when my father got a promotion, and my mother left when I was a kid. I was born in New York, but when my dad got that new job, I wanted to follow him, because I had nothing left in the States. Fiona Campbell was my tormentor. She made it her life’s purpose to bring me down, at the same time she launched her career as a singer. And of course, she became a star years later.

 

When I moved to England, I was afraid of being tormented once again. Tom was the one that showed me that not everyone’s cruel. And we’ve been friends ever since.

But I think I fell in love with him the moment I bumped into him, and he flashed those blue eyes at me. I just wished that he felt the same way. Or maybe he did. He just never told me.

 

**_“Next stop Cotswold”_ **

I finally looked up, seeing the familiar scenery in front of me. I knew just exactly where to go, and from the message I got, I was welcome whenever. I grabbed my suitcase and walked off the train, into the soaking rain. I walked the rest of the way, seeing a huge house in the clearing. A house I knew well. All the memories came rushing back, and I wasn’t sure that this was the right place for me to be, but I needed to get out of this weather. I knocked on the door, hoping that the one that opened wouldn’t turn me away.

 

The door opened, and the first thing that hit me, was the familiar scent of home. I looked up and saw the only woman that made me feel safe.

 

“Annie-bug!” She exclaimed, taking my hand, and dragging me through the door. “My god, look at you! You’re even more beautiful than the last time I saw you.”

“Hi, Diana.” I whispered under my breath, and I let the older woman wrap her arms around me, giving me the comfort I needed to make sure that everything’s going to be okay. No matter how broken I was.

 

 


	2. The One That Started It All

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Annie is hiding at Diana Hiddleston's house, and thinks about the day she started Pembroke. The time when she met Tom the first time.

_**June 17 th, 2014.** _

 

I woke up early in the morning. Damn Jetlag. I’ve been asleep ever since I got to Cotswold yesterday. That was after Diana ordered me to bed. She stuffed me full of cookies and tea, and ordered me to get a night’s sleep, leaving out the good part. She knew me pretty well, and that is why I decided to go here. Diana felt safe and she felt like home. She has been a part of my life, just as long as I’ve known Tom.

I jumped out of bed, putting on my fuzzy slippers, and wrapping a blanket around my shoulders. Even though it’s in the middle of June, the British summer can be a little chilly in the mornings. Or maybe that’s just me.

I made my way down the stairs, to the familiar smells of a good old English breakfast. It’s been so long since I’ve had one. The smell of coffee, sausage, eggs and bacon, and tomato beans hit my nose and it suddenly felt even more like home.

I walked into the kitchen, finding Diana over the stove, cooking breakfast.

“Good morning.” I said, sweetly, and Diana turned around quickly.

“Good morning, Princess.” She answered with a smile. I sat down by the kitchen island, grabbing a cup of coffee.

“How did you sleep?” Diana asked, seeing the dark circle under my eyes.

“Not that good.” I told her honestly.

“Well, I’m sorry to hear that, Princess.” Diana said sincerely, and I loved her for not asking about what happened between her son and me. “Now, I’ve made a ton of food. You’ve not been eating enough over there, in America. You’re starting to look like you did when you first arrived England.”

I couldn’t help but smile when Diana shoveled a shitload of food on my plate.

“Thank you, Diana.” I said, feeling grateful.

“Now, sweetheart. I know that you’re heartbroken, but that’s no excuse for you to stop calling me mama.” Diana told me sternly. In her books, I was being disrespectful, and it made me feel ashamed somehow.

“Sorry, mama. I don’t know what came over me.” I said, before digging into my food.

“That’s my girl.” Diana said with that famous Hiddleston grin of hers. We sat there in silence, eating our breakfast. I glanced at my phone, which Diana turned off for me before I went to bed last night.

“I remember the first time I called you that.” I said, remembering the first time I went home with Tom. That was the first Christmas my father had to leave for Afghanistan, and was gone for about 8 months. “I even remember meeting Tom for the very first time.”

 

Diana looked at me with a pitiful look. She knew very well how I felt about her son, and she had told me several times about how he couldn’t stop talking about the girl he met at Pembroke. She told me I was special before even meeting me for the first time. Back then, I was just an insecure 17-year-old. But somehow, Tom Hiddleston brought me out of my shell.

* * *

 

 

**_Pembroke, 1999._ **

 

You know that feeling you get when you walk through a crowd and everyone is staring at you like you’re an alien? Like you’re not supposed to be there, or that’s what it feels like.

That feeling, I have every single day. Especially after attending a new school, in a completely different country and continent.

 

It was difficult enough moving at the age of sixteen, but being a sixteen-year-old American in another country, made me feel like an outcast.

My dad, David, is a US. Military General, and he was deployed to England, and went with him. It’s not like I had anyone who held me back here anymore. My mom left when I was 8, because she couldn’t handle being an Army wife, because it wasn’t the life she wanted for herself, with my dad gone all the time. So, she ran off with the pool boy, never to return, but not before leaving me a letter, telling me how she never really wanted me, and that my dad forced her to have me.

I actually used to feel bad for my mother, because no one should be forced to do something they didn’t want to do. Imagine my surprise, when I tracked her down last year, and I found out she married the pool boy, and had 3 kids in from the age of 2 to 7 years old. Meaning that she was already pregnant when she left, and she just didn’t want me nor my father. I don’t have any contact with her, and I don’t have any siblings either, as far as I’m concerned. Which internally, I feel awful about.

Anyway… that’s why we moved to England, and instead of heading off to College a year early, I got in to Cambridge at the age of 17, which was normal for kids here. I was starting Pembroke College, studying Classics, something my father never understood. But I remember how proud my dad was when I got in to Cambridge. He felt his heart soar, and made sure that I would do my very best. Even though he was a scary man, I knew better. He was just a big ol’ softy.

My first day at Pembroke, my father drove me to the student houses. I tried to tell him that I wouldn’t mind staying home with him, but he didn’t want that for me. He wanted me to have it all, the full experience.

“Are you sure that this is the place for you?” My dad asked as we stopped the car.

“Of course, dad. I want to do this. I thought you wanted it too.” I answered, looking at him in alarm.

“Yeah, I want you to have an education, but it’s hard, letting your little girl go to college like this.” Dad said in defeat. It was hard for a man like my dad to say something like this. Yes, I knew he was a softy, but if his friends down at the military station had listened in to this conversation, he would never hear the end of it.

“I know, dad. But I really want to do this. And I promise, I will be back home every weekend, okay?” I promised, grabbing his hand.

“Now I know how you feel like when I go on tours…” My father mumbled under his breath, but he didn’t know that I heard every word. I remember how much it hurt when dad left me with my aunt for months on end, when he was deployed to the other side of the world, but how could he compare it to this?

We found my dorm room rather quickly, and moved my boxes in. My roommate wasn’t here yet, and a part of me wished that she wouldn’t show. I wanted the dorm for myself.

My dad put my last box down and looked around the room.

“Well, sweetheart. That was the last of it.” Dad said, and we just stood there looking at each other. This was crazy. We would see each other in five days’ time. “I should go, and let you unpack.”

I found it strange that my dad was acting like this, and I couldn’t handle it.

“Hey, dad!” I practically yelled. He turned around looking at me. “How about we go get some lunch together?”

I could see him relax a little and opened his arms for me. I loved my dad so much.

We found a little café just outside campus, and I had a wonderful time with my father. We didn’t talk about the fact that I was staying here, instead of going home with him. We just talked about normal stuff, and today was just a normal day for us.

“Well, kiddo. I know this is the part that we dread the most. But, I need to go back now.” My dad said, standing up. He was a tall man, with dark brown eyes, and a messy brown hair. I wish that I could look more like him, but I had to get the features from my mother. Red hair, and big blue eyes. I even got her messy, curly hair, which was a mess to tame.

“I’m going to miss you, dad.” I said, wrapping my arms around him.

“Me too, kiddo. Me too.” Dad replied, kissing my head. We walked together to the car, and I had a harder time with this, than I thought I would.

I quickly wiped away a few tears, watching as dad get into his car. He awkwardly waved, before driving away.

I watched as the car disappeared down the road. A sudden sense of loneliness, washed over me. For the first time in seventeen years, I was alone. Or, I felt alone. Students surrounded me as I walked through the halls of the dorm house I now lived in. Maybe this was a mistake, maybe I didn’t belong here? From the way, they all looked at me, made me feel like an outsider. And let’s face it… I was.

I walked faster back to my room, and closed the door behind me. I was still alone here, and let out a breath. I decided to do something, so I didn’t think too hard about the fact that I was alone.

I opened the boxes, and started to unpack. Maybe it would feel more like home, if I just made it more like home?

* * *

 

 

When I woke up, the next morning, I struggled to remember where I was. But, I remembered quickly. It was Sunday, and the term started tomorrow. I decided that I wouldn’t wait until tomorrow to get to know my books for this semester, so I decided to go to the bookstore on campus, and get my books so I was prepared for my first day. Here is where my weirdness became useful.

Luckily, the bookstore wasn’t too far away. But it surprised me, that there weren’t more students getting their books, but hey… they probably had a life.

I made sure I had everything I needed for my first classes in the morning, when another book caught my eye.

I felt my heart soar when I saw it. Let me get things straight, I am a sucker for books, and read about everything I can get my hands on. Since arriving England, the talent of William Shakespeare has opened my heart to even more books, and there it was… Hamlet. The next book on my list that I wanted to read. Without hesitation, I picked it up, and decided to buy it. I felt like a five-year-old on Christmas Eve, when I walked out of the store. This couldn’t get any better.

I walked down the street towards my dorms, burying my face into my new book, when I bumped into something, or someone.

“Oh, I’m so sorry, miss. I did not see where I was going.” A voice said.

 

That someone’s voice, turn out to belong to the reason my life turned upside down…

* * *

 

  _ **2014**_

 “Oh, I remember Tom phoning me, telling me about the girl he bumped into, that had her nose buried in a Shakespeare book. He told me that he’d never met anyone like you.” Diana said, bringing me back to the present. “That was more fascinating for him than the fact that you’re an American.”

“Yeah, well. Sometimes I wish that I never even met him. I think my life would have been a lot easier.” I told Diana. By this point, we had moved to the living room, sipping on a cup of tea.

“Hey, you know that it’s not true. He became your best friend for a reason. Have you forgotten everything you’ve been through?” Diana asked me, holding my hand.

“No, but it seems as if he has forgotten all about it.” I said with a sigh. We were interrupted by Diana’s phone, and we both knew who it was. Diana sighed and answered.

 _“Hi, sweetheart.”_ She said sweetly.

 _“What? No, I haven’t heard from her yet. I don’t know where she would go.”_ Is there any reason not to love that woman?

_“Yes, Thomas, I know that you’re worried about her, but you know how she is. Let her cool off, and she’ll contact you when she’s ready.”_

_“Of course, I would tell you if she showed up on my doorstep, Thomas! Yes, I’ll talk to you later. You better fix this, Hiddleston.”_

Diana hung up her phone, and I wiped away a tear.

“Thank you, mama.” I told her, glad that she gave me some time.

“You’re welcome, sweetheart. But you should know… He’s heartbroken. He sounded miserable.” Diana replied.

“I know he is…” I said, patting her hand.

 

But it wouldn’t come as a shock if he soon forgot all about me.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know there's not much Tom in this chapter, but he will make an appearance in the next one, I promise :)


End file.
